“tienes un novio? no? te quieres un novio? si? umm tienes amigos??”

DAY 198

§ Longed for him. Got him. Shit. § – Margaret Atwood

It seems like everyone is getting married in Spain. A line of cars covered in flowers or squares full of loud music and people in pretty clothes are not uncommon.  Or else they are already married, very young of course, with plenty of kids. Or they have boyfriends who they seem inseparable from. PDA is an everyday thing here.  (Someone told me the age of consent is 13? Maybe not true.) But it is true that my 11 year olds act like 13 year olds, and my actual 13 year olds act like they are 15 or 16. I’ve had eight and nine year olds ask me about my love life. I’ve had complete strangers ask me point-blank if I had “un novio” and when I said no, they just seem really confused and ask “why not?” like it’s the simplest thing in the world. How are you, where are you from, do you have a boyfriend…wait, you don’t, why not?? My answer: I don’t know! Maybe because I haven’t met anybody?

It’s frustrating, mostly because I want to meet people here, it’s just that not living in Valencia makes things rough.  I live in a suburb, and I don’t really know anyone besides my workmates and a few vague acquaintances, like the baker, the barista, and the fruit-stand guy. Everyone anywhere near my age who lives in this town is either pregnant, has children or is a beach bum. Sometimes all 3. Or else they are scared away by my shaky Spanish.  (Because it is a fact that Spanish people cannot speak English…).

The solution? Move to a city.  Check! Go to a country where people actually speak some English. Okay! Join clubs.  Will do! Seek out the expats. Right! Get involved, do more.  Got it!

I’m moving to Poland.  Warsaw, to be exact, and I want to live near the center of town so that I can find other people who speak English, and befriend them. Finally, for the first time, I get to be IN a city, not just near it. There will be English-speakers and young people and students.  Or else I can travel, stay in hostels, and befriend my fellow (generally European) tourists.  So exciting! And then if I return to Spain to visit, maybe I can provide a different answer to than most annoying question: “tienes un novio?” And hopefully, Margaret Atwood’s terse response to romance is not true.

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